Wow -- I haven't written in a while, but believe me, I will make up for it.
I am announcing my retirement (though not to anyone at the gym -- yet.) As of September 21, 2006 (the day before I turn 33), I will never set foot in a commercial gym again, not even to work out myself.
I have been doing this for about 10 years, and the people get meaner and dumber (yes, many many stories to come.) Not to mention disgusting. And I am sick to death of it.
In fact, the NY Times synopsized it last May. It is at the point where they actually have workshops on how to handle people's poor manners in the gym.
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THURSDAY STYLES
Were You Raised by Wolves? Or Perhaps Weight Lifters?
By MARTICA HEANER (NYT) 1439 words
Published: May 26, 2005
SWEAT puddles left unwiped on exercise benches, dirty tissues tossed on the floor, members whose unwashed T-shirts reek of days-old perspiration, cranky gymgoers who berate the staff when their favorite class is full: poor manners are rampant at health clubs. And all too often one quarrelsome member lashes out at another.
Robert Katel, a copywriter and a member at Equinox on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, had been making his way through his usual workout when it came time to use a weight machine for his back and chest. Just as he approached, a woman scooted in first. After she had finished her first set, Mr. Katel asked her if he could do a set of his own while she rested. She refused.
''After waiting while she did three sets, I asked how much longer she would be,'' Mr. Katel said. ''She said, 'One more set,' but ordered me to go away. I did not, so she did extra sets, repeatedly telling me to leave.''
When he held part of the machine to prevent her from continuing, he said, ''she screamed as if she was being mugged.'' A manager intervened, allowing him to take his turn.
Gyms always have had to deal with members behaving badly and the occasional tiff, but the problem is getting worse, says Brenda Abdilla, a consultant who has advised health clubs for two decades on marketing, sales and management. ''In the past two or three years I've seen incidents at clubs escalate in both number and severity,'' Ms. Abdilla said.
In 1989 she began teaching classes for club managers nationwide on how to handle difficult members. At first she advised managers to adopt a customer-is-always-right policy. But after witnessing more and more exercisers shouting at gym staff members, she now teaches clients not to tolerate unreasonable behavior. ''I've seen people overreact in situations as minor as who reserved a machine or a tanning bed,'' she said. ''Many will reach a breaking point and completely lose it.''
Even at the most upscale gyms, flagrant breaches of etiquette are on the rise. To help rein in the unruly, many clubs have resorted to tactics long used by school principals: posting signs requesting cooperation, including pleas for exercisers to please wipe down mats and machines after use.
The Peninsula Spa, a New York health club, and Equinox clubs nationwide give new members printouts delineating the expected protocol. (''Arrive clean and free of scents that might distract or offend others.'' ''Do not crowd a member who has come into a class before you.'')
The Sports Club/LA gyms go further. New members must sign an agreement to abide by the club's bylaws. Repeat offenders, like those who use banned cellphones, are given an adult timeout -- suspended for up to 30 days -- and kicked out if the conduct continues when they return. ''People seem to shape up after getting suspended, so we have not yet had to terminate a membership,'' said Tonya Jacobs, the general manager at the location on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Hitting the gym, like beachgoing, is not for the faint of heart. Being in public dressed in figure-hugging workout gear can make even the most confident feel vulnerable and, perhaps as a result, act snippy. ''A person who is insecure about their body is in a more negative frame of mind, which can cause them to react angrily,'' said Dr. Pauline Wallin, a psychologist and the author of ''Taming Your Inner Brat.''
Exercisers also often look and smell their worst mid-workout. Faces turn splotchy. T-shirts grow speckled with sweat. And that can lead, at the very least, to some uncomfortable encounters.
''I see people -- especially guys -- who either do not wear antiperspirant or shower, or they wear the same gym outfit,'' Jenn Paganelli, a publicist in New York City and a member of Crunch. ''They stick it in their locker, and it ferments overnight, making the scent worse as the week goes on.'' While everyone else notices the stench, the offender seems oblivious.
Part of the problem is that exercisers have different norms. ''Men especially view being sweaty, smelly and crude as part of the athletic process,'' explained Dr. Stephen Franzoi, a psychologist specializing in esteem and physical appearance at Marquette University in Milwaukee.
An instructor or club manager sometimes discreetly informs people that they have an odor problem. And some impatient members take matters into their own hands. Brian Feuer, a hedge fund manager in New York, once sat next to a man in a spinning class at Equinox on the Upper East Side who ''reeked,'' he recalled. ''I said, 'Pal, you have got to wash your clothes.' He sniffed his armpit and said, 'I'm sorry, I'll come to class clean from now on.'''
Not all confrontations end so decently. Devotees stake out favored spots in studio classes to place themselves strategically at the seat of power near the instructor or to lay claim to real estate with the best view. Woe to the newcomer who disrupts the established order, because some members fight for a coveted space.
Lisa Singer, an instructor at several clubs in New York, including at the Sports Club/LA, once saw a woman set up her mat and equipment in another's usual place during a conditioning class. A confrontation ensued. The usurper wouldn't move, so the testy regular whacked her with a Body Bar (a pole that can weigh 15 pounds). The assailant was escorted from the club.
Weight lifters flex their muscles in other ways. Slamming a weight on the floor or grunting while lifting is ''about needing to preen and exhibit territorial behavior,'' said Dr. Jack Raglin, a sports psychologist at Indiana University in Bloomington. ''The gym just seems to bring out the animal in some people.''
It's also unsettling to cross paths with an acquaintance at the gym. Seeing an ex on a treadmill or witnessing an acquaintance clumsily struggling through a dance class can be embarrassing.
''When I used to run into people from work, I would only use the showers with opaque doors, and I undressed at the farthest row of lockers,'' said A.J. Hanley, a magazine editor. ''I felt like I had to avert my eyes.''
Navigating a locker room with naked strangers is one thing, but seeing a colleague bend over to rub lotion over every square inch of skin can be jarring. And seeing a superior's saggy bits can disturb the balance in a relationship. If a worker and boss do come face to face, Dr. Wallin advised: ''Cover up, and avert your eyes by focusing on dressing during a conversation. Too much information is not always a good thing.''
Maintain Heart Rate; Keep Cool
SHARING the gym can be relatively sweat-free if members follow these codes of conduct:
Have a Plan B. ''Some days your workout will not go as planned,'' said Dr. Jack Raglin, a sports psychologist at Indiana University in Bloomington. Have an alternative plan in case all the treadmills or spinning bikes are taken.
Complain discreetly. When a problem arises, bring it to the attention of club management rather than confronting the offending member. ''Let it go,'' even if the other party was at fault, advised Joan Caraganis Jakobson, the author of the etiquette book ''And One More Thing. '' The short-term satisfaction of putting obnoxious people in their place is not worth inciting a case of gym rage.
Diffuse tension. Apologize when you're trying to squeeze into a nearly full studio class. Or use humor to lighten the mood when a line of exercisers is caught behind a water guzzler determined on filling his 24-ounce bottle at the fountain before anyone else has a drink.
Befriend annoying members. ''Learning their name and seeing them in a more personal way means they are less likely to bug you in the future,'' said Dr. Pauline Wallin, a psychologist and the author of ''Taming Your Inner Brat.''
Lavish praise on the worthy. Offering kind words to a courteous staff member or fellow exerciser encourages everyone to behave better, said Letitia Baldrige, the author of ''New Manners for New Times.'' MARTICA HEANER
Copyright 2006 The New York Times Company
